Log In | Subscribe | | |

Donald TRUMP and KIM Jong Un discuss a peaceful Pacific

Editorial Staff

The rising tensions between North Korea and the USA are reaching a desperately disturbing yet ridiculously comical level. Here is a false conversation between the Supreme Leader of each of those countries.

*Free for seven days*

KIM: Mr President - I'm sending you an airmail note pinned to the nose-cone of our latest rocket.

Trump: OK, I'll send one back.

KIM: Oh, you don't have to do that. It's only a little note to welcome you to your new job.

Trump: I've been in post for six months.

KIM: yes, I know, but it takes us that long to make a rocket that doesn't blow up on the pad or explode just after take-off or lose its way and crash into the sea after a few minutes. We've had a few goes at delivering this, you know. It all started with a bunch of flowers but those are getting harder to find because my starving people are eating them.

Trump: But if you fire a missile at us, we have to respond in kind.

KIM: oh, Mr President. We are not firing missiles AT you, we are sending them TO you. I mean, it's not like they are full of chemical weapons or carry a nuclear warhead, is it?

Trump: how do I know? I've said I'll negotiate with you but you seem intent on developing weapons to attack my country.

KIM: that's not fair, Mr President. It was the USA which threatened to attack my country with nuclear weapons which would have a more destructive effect than that dropped on Hiroshima and it's the USA which has, for more than half-a-century refused to enter into a peace treaty with my country meaning that we are still, technically at war.

Trump: so what, you slanty eyed pigmy? We'll blow your shitty little country out of the water. It'll be terrific. Stop lobbing missiles about.

KIM: well, we only had one and we've used it, you skunk-haired geriatric.

Trump: haha: we've got 400 ICBMs in bunkers all along the USA's West Coast, and they are all pointed at you, or they can be as soon as I give them co-ordinates and press my little red button. How do you like that, hedgehog head?

KIM: Thank you Mr President. You've made my point for me. I will be releasing the transcript of this conversation. I'll send you the link so you can tweet it.




Amazon ads


When a loved-one dies, we don't know how to feel, we don't know how to react and we don't know how to behave. "Ten Things You Need To Know About Dealing With Death" is a quick and easy description of ten simple "Rules" that guide you through the grieving process, in the immediate aftermath of a death, in a practical and sometimes humorous way.


More information