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Enjoy! The Time Travellers' Guide to Eating Out. Repeatedly

Enjoy! The Time Travellers' Guide to Eating Out. Repeatedly
A Satirical Amuse Bouche
Nigel Morris-Cotterill

Vortex Centrum Limited, UK

PMB Book Format: 


PMB Genre: 
Fiction - over 18
PMB Book Available for Review: 
Yes, upon request to the author
Publication Date: 
Monday, 31 July, 2017 - 04:30

Imagine if you could have the perfect meal in a restaurant. Imagine if something was not quite to your liking you could make the last few hours, minutes or even seconds happen again, and this time you could affect the outcome. In three short, hilarious, scenarios, this book takes you into that world. And each little tale ends unexpectedly, but perfectly.

Available in Paperback and in e-book. Details below.

EXTRACT: Chapter One - the first type of waiter: the one that makes you cringe.

"Hi, guuuuuuuuuys, I'm Trevor (why is it impossible to type in inflection - the best we can do is put "treeeey-vor") and I'll be your server this eve..n..ing."

He lifts his voice at the end of the sentence. Then, as he hands us some kind of document in a leatherette cover with the name of the establishment in stylised writing on the front, he half-sings "is there anything I can get yooooooooooooooo? Water for the table, perhaps? We have still and sparkliiiiiiiiiiing."

Then he stands, not quite straight (I mean he's standing slightly bent. Oh, that explanation isn't helping, is it?) and holding his own hands, almost like he's about to start wringing them. In the absence of anywhere to put them, they inevitably form into a pale-skinned codpiece with impossibly shiny fingernails.


Praise for
The Time Travellers' Guide to Eating Out.

"You, too, can be a time traveller. Just read this book over and over again"
- Spud Rolls, Speke Tater Today.

"The Greatest British Funny Man today except Boris Johnson and that bloke in Number 10."
- German Brexit negotiator.

"I laughed until the pee ran down my leg. Can I say that on national TV?"
- A guest on a late night talk show in the USA.

""Fucking hilarious""
- A guest on an afternoon talk show in the UK

"Morris-Cotterill is a genius. He insults everyone so everyone who buys his book can learn insults they can hurl at everyone else"
- Education in the Modern Style (blog. URL unreachable).

"If I never read another book, I will be less well read than if I do read another. So I read this one and now I'm better read. If you read it, you will be, too."
- Worthy Homilies and Wise Sayings for You.


FREE READING for members of Amazon Prime, Kindle Unlimited and similar schemes.

e-book via Amazon.com group companies -

Amazon.Com USA
Amazon.Co.UK - UK
Australia: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Brazil: http://www.amazon.com.br/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Canada: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
France: http://www.amazon.fr/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Germany: http://www.amazon.de/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
India: http://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Italy: http://www.amazon.it/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Japan: http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Mexico: http://www.amazon.com.mx/gp/product/B074DKXTQY
Spain: http://www.amazon.es/gp/product/B074DKXTQY

Paperback via Amazon.com group companies
Amazon.Com USA
Amazon.Co.UK - UK
Australia: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/1974086542
Brazil: http://www.amazon.com.br/gp/product/1974086542
Canada: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/1974086542
France: http://www.amazon.fr/gp/product/1974086542
Germany: http://www.amazon.de/gp/product/1974086542
India: http://www.amazon.in/gp/product/1974086542
Italy: http://www.amazon.it/gp/product/1974086542
Japan: http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/product/1974086542
Mexico: http://www.amazon.com.mx/gp/product/1974086542
Spain: http://www.amazon.es/gp/product/1974086542

Other countries: First, try the UK link and/or the USA link. If, due to Amazon's distribution policies, you are unable to use either of those sites, try a site nearest you.

Nigel Morris-Co...