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Steve Jobs explains the concept of the iPad to an invited audience

CoNet Administrator

After much industry rumour, the iPad has finally been launched. We were not invited so we made up our own launchPad.

Steve Jobs: Remember the Apple II? The Mac, the G5? The iPod and the iPhone? We made markets and we can do so again. We just have to believe.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: so this is what we are going to do: we're going to make a laptop but take away the keyboard. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: we're going to make it play iTunes. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: we are going to connect it to the mobile network so we can display the internet on it. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

And we are going to make reading books and newspapers a more interactive experience. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ. And we will make it work by using a touch-screen, just like on the iPhone. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: But it won't make phone calls so people still need an iPhone. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: And it won't do multitasking or run Flash so people will still need a portable Mac. So it's next to useless in the office. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: We've left out the USB port so user need to buy a special Mac connector. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: We'll sell users a keyboard because no one can use an on-screen keyboard to type properly. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: There's no camera, so you can't use it for video calls. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: it looks like a electronic photo-frame so we've not added an SD card reader: that'll stop the grannies buying it and calling for tech support. I believe it can work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: we've made the screen the old-fashioned shape of 4:3 and we've not added HD. We'll do that in a second generation, adding important features as we did with the iPhone. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ. We will make people believe it's all new when it's really a modified mash-up of the tech we've built in the past five years. It will work, I believe

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ. And we'll out-kindle Kindle, we'll outdo other screen readers, just by being cool and having our own format; just like we did with MP3. That will give us a lock-out on documents and give our margins a boost for three to four years, until users find another way to get their documents. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ, so we need to build a buzz. Everyone has to love this product before they even get their hands on one. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ. So, we'll promo it at the Grammies, you journos can write about it - we'll give you the information you need. I believe it will work

Assembled multitude: we believe, oh Lord Jobs

SJ: And we'll help you to choose the correct adjectives, embedding them in your thoughts by the traditional method of repetition. I believe it will work.

Assembled multitude: we believe, yeah we believe, oh Lord Jobs.

And so it came to pass that the Lord Steve Jobs launched into his message telling the world about the iPad.

Thanks to NeilCurtis.Com who created an excellent video of Jobs announcing the iPad. In it the unimportant bits, like product features, price, model range and availability have been left out and all we are left with is those all important adjectives that the media is using about the iPad. watch it here... https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

 


 

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