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Editorial Staff

Three weeks ago, three young recruits from the FBI's secretive high tech hacking unit sat in their bunker (it's a room above a dry-cleaner's in a side street in Falls Church but don't tell them we know) and pondered the issue of how to break into an iPhone. The FBI has a near-unlimited stock of the phones that they routinely confiscate from criminals but which don't qualify as evidence. And with each of them holding handfuls of the phones, they went to work and, much to the annoyance of the "establishment" that wanted to force Apple to give them access, these three tykes found access. Here's how they did it. Their names have been changed to protect the joke.

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Editorial Staff

Complaints that the USA's Academy of Motion Picture Arts Awards fails to recognise black actors has resulted in a full review of classifications. We have obtained a transcript of a secret discussion, that did not take place, between the three anonymous people who really run the Oscars. Their names have been changed to protect the ridiculous.

Nigel Morris-Cotterill

Once upon a time, an American bought London Bridge. That raises the question.. given the increasing Americanisation, and affinity with the USA, of Oxford University.. why doesn't it just sell itself, and its buildings to an American with less zeros after his name than a real billion would require?

CoNet Administrator

Humour is a powerful weapon and satire is amongst its sharpest blades. When someone said that the pen is mightier than the sword, he may well have had satire in mind.

Bryan Edwards

What's the main difference between Bahrain and Melbourne? It's not the dust: there was plenty of that in both countries. We think Bernie and the FIA have a plan...

Editorial Staff

After much industry rumour, the iPad has finally been launched. We were not invited so we made up our own launchPad.

CoNet Administrator

TATA group has succeeded in getting Peter Mandelson to hand over British taxpayer's money. We weren't at any of the meetings and so we've made up a satire.

CoNet Administrator

The BBC has told some of its performers that pay will be cut by 25% and scenery etc. will be subject to cost-cutting measures. conversazioni fittizie sits in on a meeting that never took place.

Editorial Staff


Goldman Sachs: Hank - time to come good on all those promises you made when you went to Treasury.

Henry Paulson: Great to hear from you. I'm only going to be here for a few more weeks, then they'll take my name off the dollars and I'll be out of work. What can I do for you?

CoNet Administrator

B Ramalinga Raju: This is a beauty parade for a global audit firm to cover Satyam's audit requirements. Are you ready to bid?

Big Four: Yes, Yes. Just give us the chance.

Editorial Staff

Madoff: I'm opening a new fund. We have existing funds that are going really well but I want to do something on my own, a kind of last hurrah, ego trip after a lifetime of making great investments.

Collection of banks: Hurrah

Private investors: Hurrah

People who should know better: hoo - hoo- awesome - rah.